Closest To Him
by big-grey-fucked-up
Summary: It was those three words, that made her change. "I still love you." . . . Sasuke/Sakura


Disclaimer: Don't Own.

Dedication: To Yellow plums, chiped nail polish and late night parties. And to P, because it's awesome.

A/N: Nothing special, just wanted something angsty.

She didn't understand why he came to her of all the people.

Maybe because she was one of the few closest to him.

Maybe because he knew she would always be there for him.

But she isn't, well not anymore.

So when he appeared on her doorstep, dripping wet and drunk, she slammed the door in his face.

She didn't want see him.

She didn't want to think of him.

Because he made her feel awful, made her feel terrible for turning away from him, for leaving him.

But she wanted to make sure he knew that horrible feeling of one having one of those closest to him leave.

And now, she was sure he knew.

_She-Would-Never-Forgive-Him_

The other morning, while going to work she found him standing on her porch, waiting for her.

"Sakura."

She didn't respond. She didn't even look at him.

She couldn't risk looking at him. Because if she showed weakness, he would know that somewhere really deep in her heart, she still loved him, still cared for him.

_She-Really-Did_

The bitter taste of black coffee made her frown, but she knew she couldn't put the cup down.

Coffee was one of her weaknesses, and she hated it.

Sakura sipped it silently, a small frown still on her face.

Bitter.

_That's-The-Taste-Of-Life_

When she came home, after her late-night shift, he was still standing there. It was like he hadn't moved from that spot since that morning.

Sakura knew he didn't.

He was probably sober now, she thought, maybe he would walk away, and leave her.

Forever.

She didn't want him to leave her. But he probably would.

_But-She-Couldn't-Say-It-To-Him_

It was still pouring, and she knew that if he stood out there much longer he would get sick.

So she left the door open for him, and hoped that he would understand.

He did.

The inside of her house was warm and comfy; the plain white colored walls were matching with the white carpet and black furniture in her living room.

She didn't say a thing.

Just walked into the kitchen to make some coffee.

She hoped he wouldn't follow her, and he didn't.

He sat on the black armchair, looking around her apartment.

After making coffee and bringing it back to living room, the silence was so tense it was suffocating.

But she wouldn't talk first.

So he did.

"Sakura."

"Sasuke."

And that was all.

She drank her coffee, put the cup on the counter, she would wash it tomorrow, and climbed up the stairs to her bedroom.

Sleep claimed her fast.

_Sweet-Dreams-Love_

The morning light shined trough the curtains, blinding her.

Morning already.

She wondered where Sasuke was, probably still in her living room.

Or at his own house, she hoped.

_Hope-All-You-Want-It-Wont-Save-Your-Life_

Sakura was really surprised to see him in her bedroom, sitting on her favorite chair in the corner.

She blinked, looking at his bottomless black eyes.

He was so perfect… It hurt to look at him.

She quickly looked away, rolling on her other side and staring at the glass walls of her bedroom.

She could see her reflection in it. Her pink hair, her soulless green eyes, and her paler-than-snow-skin.

"You've changed."

Sakura almost missed the words he whispered, turning around ,she looked at him, then rolled onto her back as she stared at the white ceiling.

Her voice was so soft he almost didn't hear it.

"Guess who changed me…?"

He couldn't hear the fact that inside she was screaming for him to get out of her life, to get out of her heart, to leave her alone.

_You-Don't-Really-Mean-That-Do-You_

Neither of them were good with words, so the silence stayed.

Sakura was getting sick of this.

"Listen Sakura, I just want to say that I'm sorry, really."

Hah, she wasn't stupid.

"You think that's going to cover it? Make it any better? I wasted 5 years of my life for you! Ever since I turned 12 it was all Sasuke, you were in the center of attention, everyone in the school loved you. I loved you. And finally, freshman year you ask me out, I was so happy, everything was so perfect, I thought things were going to be okay, but you just had to ruin everything. After the graduation you left, you left me, Naruto and everyone who loved you."

Sasuke looked the same. Sakura's eyes narrowed.

"I gave you my virginity, Sasuke. And after that you left. Do you know what people said about me? I was the slut, the whore; second year of high school was hell for me. Things got better in my Junior year. People forgot, moved on to gawk at someone else. I had my friends back, my reputation, my grades, but not myself. I got a job at a cafe, because coffee reminded me of you. Bittersweet."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but his face stayed impassive.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's too late Sasuke, you're too late."

Just one more sentence and it will be over, forever.

"The only thing I want now is..."

_Why-Can't-I-Get-It-Out_

_Why-Can't-I-Say-It_

_Because-You-Don't-Want-To_

"What I want now..."

_Come-On-Say-It_

"What I want now… is for you to leave, and never come back."

That's it, She said it.

She's free.

Sasuke eyed her, small tears in the corners of his eyes, but he didn't say anything, he just stood and walked away.

Without another word.

As the door to her bedroom quietly shut, hot tears spill from her eyes, falling from her lashes onto her cheeks, rolling down one by one and making a home in her bed.

_It-This-Really-What-You-Wanted-?_

_No._


End file.
